At a loss for words

Update: In the Drunken Politics Pantheon of Stones: Dateline: February 1, 1960. Four Greensboro NC Ag & Tech guys with serious stones decided that they would enjoy some lunch. They would not be denied a blueplate special. And that says more than anything else. 50 years later...

C: Rarely does this happen.

J: As a former resident of the Palmetto State, this disgusts me. For those of you who don't know, school funding in South Carolina is, quite frankly, about race. The State government provides minimal funding, while local school districts pick up the rest. In the wealthy (and predominantly Caucasian) districts, students have access to educational opportunities that rival any good districts in America. In the poorer (and predominantly minority) districts, it's a different story.

An award-winning documentary was produced a few years back on this, as was a follow-up photography exhibit.

I will warn you, if you watch the video and look at those images, you may very well be filled with a powerful urge to travel to Columbia and start doing physical harm to politicians.


2010 SOTU, DP-style

J: It's once again time for the President to do the Constitutionally-mandated thing, and inform Congress on the State of the Union.

If this was "Serious Politics", we would be predicting what Barack would be telling us, and what bombshell he was going to drop. If you want that sort of coverage, we'll probably do a postgame show.

Here's HuffPo's rules for the 2010 SOTU drinking game. I think they're fair, and pretty non-partisan. I expect Biden to do something hilariously embarrassing, and if he does, take an extra drink. Five if he's audibly flatulent during a somber pause.

C: A quote that seems to get magically attributed to anyone who may have repeated it, or has been wishfully attached to achieve extra juice, comes to mind. I'll run with the Yale Book of Quotations citation despite the fact that alumnus Dubya may have permanently spoiled the University's credibility for intellectual analysis. From YBQ: Joseph de Maistre (1753-1821) from Lettres et Opuscules Inédits, vol. 1, no. 53 (1851) (Letter of 15 August, 1811):

"Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle mérite." (Every country has the government it deserves.)


Children Left Behind

J: One of the many reasons my contribution had dropped off in recent months was that I had reentered the world of Academia. For a variety of reasons that I won't bore you with here, I just hadn't got around to finishing my degree, and I am now at a point in my life where it makes sense to hit the books again.

It has been a few years since I set foot in a classroom, but thankfully not much has changed. The professors are still occasionally long-winded, and the books are still quite a racket. What is different this time around is the people in the classroom with me. And I don't just mean in a "they're so young" sense.

I am witnessing the results of programs such as No Child Left Behind, and it is absolutely appalling. We as a Nation are raising a generation of automatons. These kids do not ask questions. Well, that's not entirely true- they ask questions, just not the right kind of questions. They don't question whether the professor is factually correct, they don't ask how certain bits of information fit in to the course content. The only question they have is "Will this be on the exam?"

Thanks to standardized testing starting early in Elementary school, and lasting all through High School, we now have teachers that simply "teach to the test", and the students have caught on. If information is On The Test, then it is vitally important, and must be retained at all costs. If it is not, then there is simply no reason to waste the brain space to retain it, no matter how enriching it may be. Critical thinking? Why bother? It won't be On The Test.

I was raised to think about things and ask questions. My first Critical Thinking class was in fifth grade, taught by Sister Mary Hope. I'm certain there's a cheap joke to be made there about a nun teaching that particular course, but I'm not going to make it. My point is, even in Elementary school, I was taught the quote by Plutarch- "The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled." For today's youth, the mind is a card to be punched. Education is apparently no longer about teaching our children, it is instead an industry. The students are no longer expected to be learning how to be productive adults, they are instead treated as a commodity, a cog in the machine, a statistic that has to pass The Test in order for the school district to get its share of Federal tax dollars.

We're not training the next generation of leaders, we're training sheep who will be more than happy to sit in their cubicles and do their menial tasks without complaining.

It's a goddamn embarrassment.

Shell Schlocked


Well, it turns out after one whole year in office, the King Grass Skirt Hawaiian Barack O'Kenyan O'Bama is an abject failure as a leader and as a President. Maybe the Birthers were right all along.

Let's face it, the guy lost two wars and sold our ass to China and attempted to shove Universal Health Needles into our delicate flabbly American parts. And Democrats are twitching on the floor like they've been attacked by a sudden case of Tourette's Syndrome and Epilepsy. This week in a fill-the-chair election, famed now dead Senator Edward Kennedy's Massachusetts' seat was lost to Republican who posed naked. Spinning in grave not withstanding, voter's in the Bay State decided that without the clout of seniority they'd dig a handsome newcomer over a legacy handover. This means the Democrats only have a 59-41 advantage in the US Senate so all is lost for their agenda. And, so what.

Coupled with their House of Pelosi and a few Supreme Court justices in fine health, this surely means the Party of the Mule's impending failure. Bull Moose-esque. Glen Beck, Rush and Reverend Pat rule the roost. Fascinating, in today's America if it's in writing that if you enjoy your healthcare plan and you can keep said plan, it means Nazi Trotsky Steal Your Guns Vegetarianism. And screw the Poor. We Americans have never been the brightest bulb in the chandelier. The so-called Hope of 2008 has been burnt down in unique fashion. Palin stomps on the Terra striking fear in the hearts of Prius owners, and Fear and Greed and Gawd trumps the hand-holding pansy-ism of Gay Democrats. Or something.

Simple analysis works as such: Control of the House, the Senate, the Presidency and the future of the Courts might just bend the Beckham your way. Where's Rahm Emanuel when you need him? Hand-wringing is for old church ladies, stop embarrassing yourselves. And get a job. Nevermind, we don't make anything anymore.


A Call For Help

J: One of the journalistic goals C and I have is to obtain press passes to the 2012 Republican National Convention. We feel that it will be the type of event that we really need to cover live, in order to properly convey the feel of the crowd. However, we recently learned of an event that even more desperately needs us in attendance- the 2010 National Tea Party Convention.

Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and a large group of Teabaggers. The entertainment potential here is unbelievable, and we're just the guys you want on the ground. If any of our readers are among the idle rich, and can spring for press passes, room, board, and liquid refreshment for us, please contact us immediately. Otherwise, we're going to be stuck with C-Span and Fox News for coverage of this event, and while we will do our best to follow it via television, it just won't be the same.

J: Oh, and halfway through January, we have already matched our 2009 output. Don't judge us, we were hung over.

C: These seemingly innocuous times are ripe with The Budding Fruit of Weirdness. Just officially announced: The Snowbilly Quitter herself, best-selling author and Teabagger Pageant Queen Sarah Palin, will be joining Republican Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann on her re-election campaign trail April 7, 2010. While making an early call on election projections is rather Floridian in political journalism circles, Drunken Politics North is going to call the Snow Machine vote for the charismatic, commonsense and colorfully creative Bachmann.

Dare we peek over the horizon? Palin/Bachmann 2012? One word comes to mind. Epic.


Happy Birthday!

J: He would have been 97 today, and for all his corruption, faults, and flaws, the man would not have put up with Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, or Teabaggers.

Happy birthday, Mr. Nixon.

C: "Richard Nixon has never been one of my favorite people anyway. For years I've regarded his existence as a monument to all the rancid genes and broken chromosones that corrupt the possibilities of the American Dream; he was a foul caricature of himself, a man with no soul, no inner convictions, with the integrity of a hyena and the style of a poison toad. The Nixon I remembered was absolutely humorless; I couldn't imagine him laughing at anything except maybe a paraplegic who wanted to vote Democratic but couldn't quite reach the lever on the voting machine." ~Dr. Hunter S. Thompson