That Time Again...

J: Well, here we are. My least favorite time of election years- the Doldrums. It's like the period right after the All-Star break in baseball- you know who's good, you've got a pretty good hunch about who's coming out of each league... but it's a long stretch until the post-season, and your favorite team is about to play the Tampa Bay Rays. You'll watch, you'll be somewhat interested, but it's pretty much a foregone conclusion how that series is going to turn out.

There's a primary in Mississippi today. Senator McCain will win the Republican primary, although a few hardcore folks will still vote for Huckabee. Senator Obama will win on the Democratic side with well over 60% of the vote. Senator Clinton will give a speech targeted to Pennsylvania voters and will probably not mention Mississippi.

Mike Gravel will not make a televised speech, and we will all lose that potential entertainment.

And then, we wait... until April 22, when we get to the stretch run. I'll be interested to see what Michigan and Florida do in the interim, but it's a long wait. I'm thankful I'm not a Pennsylvania resident, because there's basically enough time until then for Clinton and Obama to try and meet each and every resident of the state and personally ask for their vote. For the first time in my life, I feel sorry for Philly
residents.

C: Geezus J. fear not, The Big Weirdness never sleeps. New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer is on the rotisserie for *ahem* enjoying the company of women who may be of questionable moral fiber. Spitzer's rapid rise to national stardom by smacking down Wall Street shenanigans made him some powerful enemies. And you just know he was setting himself up for a monster run at the White House in the future. Now the question is, are sexual dalliances cause for dismissal from public life if there are no actual abuses of power? Bill Clinton? Nope, just dumbass. Newt Gingrich dumping his cancer-ridden wife while she's in the hospital for a fresh girlfriend? Nope, that's just crass. Mark Foley's obsession with Congressional pages? Sure. Rudy Giuliani hiding police escorts' payments for his girlfriend? Sure. Senator Larry "wide stance" Craig tapping his foot in code in an airport bathroom? Nope, that's just kinky. Senator John McCain allegedly boinking a lobbyist with a favorable legislative slant for her connections? Well, we'll see.

And the Obama/Clinton Mess To Success will just get messier with the Pennsylvania Invasion. Mathematics be damned. The Keystone State is Hilary's Alamo. The Last Stand. And we all know how the Alamo turned out. Get out the mop and bucket, it's going to get bloody. "Oooh yeah", to quote Randy Macho Man Savage, we've got the idiocy of seating or kickball do-overs in Florida and Michigan. And the Stupor Delegate fiasco waiting to happen. I'm not sure we shouldn't head to Puerto Rico to gauge the sentiment of the electorate in the 51st State. That's Jai-alai goodness.

Lest we forget, McCantankerous has to keep his mug in the news. Expect Vice President selection speculation to heat up if there's a Big Weirdness lull.

Doldrums? Let's not forget the Western Conference race in the NBA and March Madness. Drunken Politics will be there no matter the contest.

C: And who says Big Weirdness does not rule the day. Geraldine Ferraro is going to be choked out at the next Emily's List meeting for today's comments.